What to you do when your other halfs birthday lands on the same day of a heartbreaking event?
11 years ago my wife’s sister died, It was sudden and a massive shock. The whole family was rocked to its core in the whole unfolding tragedy. On that day the sister was going about her daily life, dropped her fiance off to football, picked up the sunday papers and went home to get her new house ready for the arrival of her new sofa. you see she was in the prime of her life, Just engaged, brilliant job, just moved into a new home, just past a degree, just passed her driving test. Life was unfolding perfectly for her, then it was gone. she collapsed with a brain aneurysm.
We got a call to get to the hospital but it was already too late. the whole family was there if not arriving and it was the saddest time i have ever known, For the wife she buried her sister and best friend on her birthday. For the next few years her birthday was forgotten as we remembered the sister who was gone.
As we move into the last 4 years or so i have found it difficult to even bring up celebration of her birthday as the kids want to do something but mum is still so raw at this time & understandably so – but how to approach?
As it happens when she turned 40 we planned a little family gathering, nothing brash just a small event in her mum’s, She ended up in hospital visiting her brother who has a serious infection, back come the memories of that fateful day.
Last year not great, This year i wanted to take the day off and try a different approach, day off shopping, spend it together. I end up in hospital with a fracture that means her planned day off from doing mum stuff went out the window. She still had to get up get the kids ready and do all the driving, not good.
Next year i want plan a getaway send herself away for a couple days and just relax. She is convinced her birthday is cursed at this point so the mission is to reverse this premise and let her enjoy the day again…