My Wife has PCOS – A husbands view!
So my wife has PCOS and over the next while i will post what this is like but lets answer the first question. What is PCOS?
PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) or PCOS is caused by a hormone imbalance. It affects about 5 to 10% of women and is a leading cause of female infertility. PCOS is diagnosed by having two of the following three signs – small cysts on the ovaries, increased levels of male hormones and no regular ovulation.
So that’s the kind of science bit done. What is PCOS? a massive pain in the rocks to be honest. It turns an amazing wife into, well into a wife who is not firing on all cylinders and is hormonally charged. It takes my wife away from me. Creates tension and is bloody hard to live with. However while we both know about PCSO and both live with it daily it’s a challenge that we both need to deal with in different ways.
One of the big things living with a woman with PCOS is how tired she can be. My wife is in her 40’s (just) we have two kids 12 and 6 and she has known about PCOS since just before we fell pregnant with the first one. However the big tell tale sign is how much energy or lack of energy she has. By the end of a day she is wiped out, In bed early (8;30) or sometimes earlier and will go to sleep almost immediately. She could take on a part in The Walking Dead some days as a leading walker. This is a woman in her prime and there is nothing left in the tank.
Cranky – Jodi has patience, sweet baby jebus she needs it with three boys in the house, I can be a massive pain in the rocks and fully hands up admit it. However something happens and it’s like a switch is flipped and from no where its cranky time. This for me is one of the worst aspects of PCOS, it’s horrible to see my sweet natured loving wife turned into a cranky bitch ( yes i have called her that but not when she is cranky, she fully admits it also). It’s mental mad to know that placing something in the wrong place creates a standoff between North and South Korea at the DMZ,. My problem is I default into a defense mode, “you did this always” i am told – “No i did not” and that’s it. What i really need to get better at is just agreeing and walking away. its hard, very very hard for me to do though but it would prevent possible clashes.
A big thing i need to get better at is not taking things personally, when Jodi acts out its not her fault, my reactions could be so much better but I am learning. It’s one of the first, most important, things for a husband to learn. Even when it’s aimed at you, it is not about you. So again (note to self) Don’t take it personal.
One thing I spotted on my research into PCO was the following which could be my wife talking:-
The symptoms of PCOS are pretty rough for me to deal with and can make me feel unattractive. I sometimes struggle with my weight. It’s not for lack of trying, I promise! All of that insulin quickly stores my carbs as fat and makes it difficult for me to lose it.
I have hair where I really don’t want hair and I may lose some of my hair on my head.
Jodi has taken all kinds of meds to try and get a handle on PCOS – how it makes her feel, look and act. It has taken a long time and at the moment we have found the following works
- Glass of Berocca Boost in the Morning – Click Here
- Agnus Castus Tablet – Click here
- Biotin – Click Here
- Gluten Free Diet – Very important and had a massive impact
The Gluten Free diet is great all round, not only is it helping her with weight loss and controlling her figure I have lost weight also however it is combined with exercise as this is really important in building a healthy body and promoting positive energy to combat the fatigue that could set in. What is also important is for Jodi to eat as much as possible unprocessed food. The less processing the better so eating food in a natural state is best but sometimes hard when out and about.
On a personal note my wife is amazing, beautiful, thoughtful, always puts others before her self, intelligent and a brilliant mother to the kids and wife to me. Having PCOS is who she is and I would not want her any other way. Sometimes PCOS makes her feel she is none of the above. I can 100% state she is these and more everyday. If you are a husband and married to a PCOS sufferer then the biggest thing you can do is love and support your wife. I don’t always get it right but its sooooo important and makes such a difference to everything.
That’s about it on this subject for today…. might pop back and visit sometime with more on PCOS, its real and its horrible – if you spot these symptoms in your wife maybe stop and think a little before you say anything, it just may not be her fault!
Some link to help with PCOS