So most of the time we have a happy household, everything is great and ticks along nicely but once in a blue moon we have a little disagreement
Not going to get into the why and wherefores here, suffice to say we both were out for a family celebration, both drinking and while it was very late we were both tired and in a heart beat we had crossed wires and double meanings.
The one thing i hate is having an argument with anyone and more so with the one person i never want a cross word with. Of course people fight, its OK sometimes, I take it that we need to let off a little steam and we do so more with the ones closest to us, Still i hate the post argument feeling, We have talked and made up and come out of it a little wiser and both reflected on things we will both do and avoid in the future but i still hate the couple of days after.
I suppose its a feeling of uncertainty, emptiness, i feel that i hurt the one person that means the most and that it takes a while to get us back to normal. I think maybe we should have a healing conversation. I find that when we have a conflict, even when it is technically resolved (e.g. we identified what was problematic, found common understanding about it, sorted out how to ensure it won’t happen again), things still don’t feel completely right between us. I recently learned of the concept of a healing conversation. I think it means different things depending on the nature of the conflict, but a good healing conversation makes both feel whole again, makes both people feel completely loved and secure again (back to how you felt pre-conflict). It is sort of hard to describe, but it did help us and maybe a few of you that have these little bumps in the road.
We are fine, love each other deeply and will always do so but it still hurts and sucks when the bumps appear. Thankfully they are rare and but really help to enforce the many many good times we have. I suppose without the occasional bad you cannot fully appreciate the good, and I really really appreciate the good in our marriage.